I was just walking through Burbank and saw a hobo using solar panels on his shopping cart. We must be in trouble if the hobos are researching alternative sources of fuel...
My mom just told me that after i turned eight i stopped growing mentally and emotionally
Well its official I'm an idiot. I made out hardcore with an employee last night in our banquet room. Oh and got wasted at work. Oh and showed my staff squirrel on a trampoline.
I just cleaned your Jaeger vomit off my car with a knife. Don't ever say I don't love you.
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
So, do you know where my left shoe is? I mean, we were at a few places last night, and I called them. No luck for me.
He legit pounded my cooking wine, because he was to cheap to buy beer. He is so not getting any.
All i want to do is drink fuck and cry... you dont have to cater all three its more like the saddest choose your own adventure ever
I went to the bar saying i wasn't going to drink that much. I forgot sobriety might as well be some mythical creature when you're with Holleey
Guy hitting on me at bar is guy who's Craigslist ad we laughed at the other night. Not even kidding.
So good!! I became real good friends with an adorable black lesbian couple from Baltimore and a man in a diaper.
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
So unless we're getting married, I can't see him cry AND have sex with him. It just doesn't work like that.
Happy Halloween!! Last Halloween we spent together you got brought home in a shopping cart
She is getting high and watching the Hobbit. I want her life.
So she is basically watching her own life story: short people traveling to strange places.
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