Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
there's paper in my vomit.
Dibs on passing out in front of the toilet.
there is a priest convention in the hotel. i feel like god is laughing at me.
Considering last night's endeavors, I am going to hell 5 times over. 1 for puking on a hobo, 1 for laughing about it, and 3 for remembering it today and laughing about it sober
There's a skateboard on the patio and all the chips are gone. The note on the fridge says 'don't buy cheese'. Stop letting her go outside.
You were high and telling me you felt like Pinocchio and that fire was bad for wood.
Yeah he's definitely gonna feel that one when he wakes up. I beat the shit out of him with that broom handle.
and he's drinking a bud lime in his profile pic meaning i can out drink him, meaning i would clearly be the alpha in our relationship
I knew us throwing ourselves at him back in the day would pay off. I'm gonna b a divorcees rebound. Score!
Once you jizz in someones hat, you cant take it back.
Its okay. I just know how you can text with your hands cuffed behind you back, so I had no idea what "oh shit" meant.
Reading becomes significantly more difficult when people are having crazy loud sex in an adjoining room
found my cat trying to steal a lighter to hide away for himself. cat what are you doing. don't pocket my lighter.
i could have got laid, but instead, i threw up in her hair. you can cross that off the bucket list.
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