i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
Vanessa Carlton's songs would be so much better if she was pretty
i just licked mashed potatoes off my blackberry. i'm not even ashamed to admit that to you.
didn't know how to tell his mom I was confused about how long we'd been together because we banged for a full year before making it official
It was a two-sided wall so part of my body ended up in someone elses condo.
Fact: Chilis at the airport in JAX will serve you shots of jack at 6:45 with breakfast. Ya I missed my flight.
So when does your new flight leave?
At my shot/hour ratio.... I leave in 16 shots. I love flying
He told me he doesn't want to fuck anymore because he needs to focus on school. Either he grew a vagina or he's secretly gay, it has to be one of the two.
I spent a lot of time in their kitchen cause I was convinced that the living room was gonna fall... Sorry for not warning you about that.
This is one of those times I wish I had a time machine so I could go back and punch myself in the face to make me realize what I need to do before it's too late
She wouldnt stop trying to stick her finger in my ass. I wish she wasnt so hot
Btw "you gettin a workout in" isn't a great gym pickup line. Like no I'm fucking grabbing lunch on my way to class.
The last time I saw her someone was carrying her on a bike and she was yelling that she was E.T.
I HAVE DISCOVERED LONDON AND IT FILLS ME WITH JOY
See I insist I'm not a groupie and then I say things like "will bang for a backstage pass".
Arrived home from picking Mom and Nana up at the airport to find Marc buck ass nude beneath the Christmas tree. Nana says she always knew I was queer.
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