Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
When I was with my girlfriend I was averaging 1 random hookup a week. In the 2 months I've been single I haven't got any. I think I need her back.
Awesome. My fame will spread to DC... As will the herpes.
Level of drunkenness: just now when I sat down on the toilet, I had to double check to make sure I wasn't sitting on somebody's lap.
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
I have a cat, a bottle of wine, and a Brazilian man. I need to catch you up on my life
i just tried to use a string cheese as a light source
Did we pole dance in front of my boss last night or was it just me?
THE CEO RESPONDED TO THE MEMO WITH HIS "UNICORN" EMAIL ADDRESS AND NOW HE'S APOLOGIZING TO EVERYONE FOR USING HIS PERSONAL EMAIL AT WORK.
I'm at a first year old's birthday party and a midget dressed as a cop just showed up. Word is we're going to toss and bowl with him. Updates to come.
I even put my vibrators back in the bedroom instead of the coffee table. If that's not growing up then I don't know what is.
I havent moved from the couch and I'm licking peanut butter from a spoon, I'm a beautiful person.
I would rather contract a disease that would eat me from the inside out and make me suffer painfully while it slowly killed me than to put myself through the 20 minutes of agony that is having sex with you ever ever again.
I think you're talking dirty but I'm not sure???
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
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