Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
Just heard the garage door open and I immediately sprinted to the laptop to erase history, even though I haven't watched porn today...I believe Pavlov now.
He woke up screaming about pickles. I think it's gonna be a good day.
any interest in drunk sledding later? if not, any interest in driving me to the hospital later?
Am I texting you while being used as a stripper pole by two half-naked women? hint: I am.
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
Sorry I kept grabbing your vagina at the casino. I believed it was my lucky unicorn to win bonuses
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
FYI, announcing your arrival at jail with "Hi,yes, I'm checking in? I believe I've reserved a bed, a 2 night stay this weekend?" is, in fact, frowned upon
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
I just got a lecture from your coked out sister about the monetary value of Dothraki hair braids. Take her home.
It's not "nice." It's the supermodel of dicks.
She came into the salon and said, "Don't judge me. Yes that's cum in my hair and I want a shampoo, cut and style."
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