I just found out the guys at work had a bet as to who could sleep with me before i move away.
Who won?
All of them.
her vagina looked like bernie madoff
I think a girl in front of me glued an ugg tag to a weird pair of boots.
i need to find a birthday card for her that tells her how happy i am that i can now legally bang her
Drinking wine out of an empty soup can and watching spongebob squarepants.. I eveb hate myself
In a cab. Towels everywhere. Confused.
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
just did a beer bong in the shower while i was taking an actual shower its officially football time
There needs to be a crayon color for how blue my balls are
I convinced a shit ton of people I was a russian foreign exchange student to get free drinks. I knew learning those accents would come in handy.
So because I got upset you didn't answer I threw my phone in the garbage disposal last night
Went to work in the same clothes from last night, completely covered in glitter...I didn't choose the hag life, the hag life chose me
Serious question: does drunken cyber sex with a stranger on omegle count as cheating???
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
Randomize
