Say something about gay babies.
Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god. I drunk emailed a professor on friday. Oh my god. Oh my god.
Dude, I'm importing a boy from Oklahoma for my divorce party. It's like doctors without borders, but with dicks.
He won't stop licking me..... im choosing your date next time.
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
i don't even know why we got arrested this time. i think the cops just like our company at this point
She just came home holding a fire hydrant. Yes a fire hydrant.
Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.
Because of my cut offs, my brother is convinced I fucked a girl so hard she forgot to take her pants. Fairly accurate.
You only have to pretend to care about soccer until July. HE'S PRETTY DONT RUIN THIS.
You used your chihuahua as a pillow screaming "HE'S A PILLOW AND A PET" and proceeded to puke in the dog bed
So I have now fucked both my roommates...This is why I can’t live with men.
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
I've been on the cocaine and semen diet for the last 24 hours, lunch sounds great.
Randomize
