I hope you have a really shitty weekend. I love you.
You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I feel like that may have given him the wrong idea.
If he really loved his girlfriend then he'd wear a condom when he fucks me.
Dont get mad at me, it takes two to tango
IT TAKES ONE TO EJACULATE INTO THE OTHER WITHOUT CONSENT, AND SPOILER ALERT, ITS THE ONE WITH A SCROTUM FULL OF SEMEN.
I let a drunk, gay man in a dragon costume motor-boat me. With his dragon head.
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
I think the blind guy i flirt with on a regular basis is starting to realize he's old enough to be my father. I can't tell if he's into it or not.
It's the eve of Christ's birthday and I'm sending pictures of my tits
Made him watch 4 hours of HGTV then told him I was too tired for sex.
Savage
He just chose domino's over sex. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?
He let me eat chexmix while we fucked... I think I love him.
She's not allowed to do acid anymore... she started crying because she thought she was an eagle.
He's such a jerk. If only his penis was attached to someone else
Randomize
