Racial profiling caused me to miss two cabs but the third cabs the charm - he's playing Jesus Music
But i just feel like he will pull it out and ill panic. I mean its fairly basic. Up and down. But i feel like ill just freak out.
Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
i wish i could, but i promised myself i wouldn't sleep with anyone who couldn't grow a beard for a while. it's not you, it's crosby.
I still think it's messed up that you're naming your kids after all the guys you slept with in college
Dude you didn't move for like 2 hours then suddenly sang the chorus to ghetto superstar and passed back out
she bonged a coffee cause she was hungover. then she bonged a beer cause she got ambitious. then she barfed. then she had to start over again.
Cuz its complicated and I hate complicated and I miss your penis
Im walking to an ob gyn practice session right now. Literally have to get face first in a middleaged vagina in 10 min.
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
I think we can all agree that the size of her boobs, combined with beer, is destroying my ability to judge looks.
I have to take a quiz before midnight. Trying to decided if its a better idea to take it now when I'm stoned or later when I'm drunk.
I'm wearing a suit and have no chance of getting laid or robing a casino. I consider this opportunity a failure
Know what's awkward? Having a couple of moving guys watch while you detach the bondage cuffs from your bedframe, that's what.
You don't know what lonely is until you've came in an Arby's Napkin
Randomize
