I woke up this morning and was hoping we drank enough last night to have a unicorn drawn on my wrist. Good News: We did.
she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
Also there's a dick sized hole in my tights...should I be worried?
No. Cease was criminally insane from birthday shots, and not a lot of women want to go home from the bar with a guy who wants to "snuggle but keep it strictly professional".
Waking up to find your mom holding your birth control pills and telling you I suggest you take this
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
Maybe there is a secret pocket full of cocaine in that spiderman wallet.
I saw a guy do a line this morning in line to start the 5k, happy thanksgiving!
I'm just sayin. If your gonna cheat go for someone TOTALLY different. Fucking her twin would be a waste.
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
Taking out my recycling and 90% of it is alcohol and cat food. I am judging myself.
Just renamed the subject of my sex list on my phone "grocery list" just in case anyone comes across it
I remember reading the word "lift" so I did. The alarn went off, and I thought to myself "what dumbass pulls the fucking fire alarm?" and then I realized it was me...
Stacy was in the bathroom puking, so he peed out the window. We were eight stories up.
Randomize
