He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
Iced coffee. Banana. Two dumps. Life is good.
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
I don't think everyone found it as funny as I did... Nothing says "Party's Over" like the sound of a pump action shotgun.
i think i swapped my keys for drugs last night
Alright, deal. Settling two drug deals before noon is what I call a productive day. I'm not even gonna go to math, I've practiced enough numbers for the day.
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
I think there's a problem with society when I'm shopping for lingerie and I think "man some of these would make kickass shirts"
Rigtt?!
I just sneezed and margarita mix and ash came out of my nose. I love jersey
Let's celebrate our country being screwed by screwing.
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
It’s a dick. Seen one, seen em all. Unless it spews a fountain of tequila, I don’t need to see yours.
Whose the chick running for dorm president promising bigger dicks and softer toilet paper? That’s who I m voting for
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