I told you I would drunk text you sometime........its that time.
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
The only good thing about trampolines when you're fucked up is the gushing blood really cleans all the bad coke out of your nose.
We pulled over so he could pee and the next thing I know he's running down the hill by himself with his pants down
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
I shouldn't be home alone with this much peanut butter and the dog. I feel like i'm being recorded to see when my desperation will peak.
I sang "A Whole New World" while I took his virginity
That is awesome that you did that.
Honestly I have a huge freedom boner right now and if I came it would be red white and blue
So I'm hiding in my bathroom smoking bowls because my landlords kids came over to visit my dog... My life has reached a new low
IM ON THE WEIRD DRUGS AND I JUST SAW THAT TOM HARDY THING NOW I WANT TO HUMP
Lets just say the phase, What a dick, has a whole new meaning at the urinals.
Um..... I have taste. The only thing I am going to bedazzle is my vagina.
A guy caught me talking to a sock today in the Laundry room if it makes you feel any better
Sadly that does. Why...where you talking to a sock
Bc I didn't know him and I asked him where he came from and why he was hanging out with my thongs
I had Mac n cheese made with weed butter last night. Epic
I bonged champagne. And did keg stands. What in the actual fuck am I doing with my life?
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