this girl is running around outside screaming, it's creaming on me! it's creaming on me. I totally have to find my video camera
Did u pay ur friends to not make fun of me?
is the shake weight an appropriate valentine's day present?
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
Just explain how I got from the bar to a house I've never been in, waking up to a cop in uniform ripping a bong
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
Needless to say, she forgave him, they're back together, and I'm seriously considering having a lesbian year.
I should probably stop opening conversations with 'guess who's horny'.
I just Miyagied my roommate through her first set of tit pics. Her fuck buddy owes me.
I'm sorry about all of the innappropriate shoe throwing
He's drinking on a hospital bracelet, the fuck's your excuse?
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
Suffice to say, I think if people ask about your bruises, and you look them right in the eye, and say "they're from fucking...", people would be like, "respect."
idk what the male equivelent of vajazzling is but it better be worth the time
Randomize
