Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
I have this strange craving to see a really fat person go down a slipnslide
But I always wanted my obit to read "Died violently in casino orgy," not "Never woke up from rectal surgery."
she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
Now that we both have boys can we make up games that objectify them as sex toys?
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
You need to come back and help me drink our beer so the fridge has room for the other beers
I feel like i'm walking on a never-ending field of baby sheep.
Guess who woke up with a hangover this morning? The same person whose parents found out and woke her up by banging pots and pans with wooden spoons.
Yesterday I dumped him, went out for my birthday, hooked up with someone else, and today he still fed my cat. Living with your ex ain't so bad . . .
I hate you so much right now. You got us kicked out of my favorite bar because your drunk ass was hogging the Bluetooth jukebox and would play NOTHING but that goddamn skeleton song. IT'S NOT EVEN OCTOBER YET.
Spopky scrzy skeletonssz
At first it will make you think "how is this physically possible?" and then it will ruin an entire food group for you.
Gave his drunk ass water, & he poured it on my shirt while saying "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!" When reminded of it today he replied with, "at least you came in first place"
Between his smile and monumental dick even the virgin mary woulda blown that man and I am far from the virgin. I didn't stand a chance.
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
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