Dude I got a text from you at 1:30 last night and you didn't use any vowels
Haha, I didn't want to buy any... we're in a recession you know
Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
I am assuming I was his dirty Mardi Gras mistake and I can live with that
I know I said I wouldn't, but he told me I looked like Mila Kunis. Reasons not to fuck him, go.
The only good thing about this is that the pharmacy guy will stop trying to add me on Facebook.
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
I'm just going to text him the word sex repeatedly until he comes over.
Did it work?
Duh, it only took 27 texts and 15 minutes and he was at my front door.
We're 17 hours into a 3 day weekend, and he's already shitfaced. He fell of the dock TWICE and insisted on wearing a life jacket on dry land.
Just had a threesome. Girlfriend wasn't a part of it. Broke up with her by sending her a picture of it. Hell is going to be awesome
I have a to do list for the summer and thing one is figuring out my sexual orientation
What happened last night dude?
YOU SHIT ON MY FUCKING COFFE TABLE THATS WHAT FUCKING HAPPENED!!!
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
We've been taking shots, cranking Marilyn Manson, and eating your bacon. Your kid is probably ruined.
Randomize
