So I'm stoned for 420, and have an eye doctor appointment in fifteen minutes
Are your eyes okay
I mean if I was Asian they would be
He fell off the roof... he clearly has not been preparing for summer.
Oh please tell me that I'm sleeping in your shower and not the neighbor's again
It was my penance. God came down to me in the form of an angel and said, "you must atone for your sins, by puking in your mouth at church right before communion"
I think you're going to have to drive me to white haven. I don't know if my brain can handle having my mom drop me off at a strip club.
Well be careful man. Be careful. Wear shoes in the house. Safety. Safety first, then teamwork.
Stephen I'm in a lecture and the lecturer just said 'you can CHOOSE to put something in your mouth and swallow it" i'm the only one here who burst out laughing, this is awkward. Thought you'd appreciate it.
They'll never let you practice medicine.
Never thought I would be taunted by little kids about my walk of shame
I just ate beer and cupcakes for breakfast.... maybe this fourth of july won't be so bad
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
I'm in a corner eating carrots and drinking champagne. I've hit a new kind of low.
How is that low? I love carrots.
Apparently, acid is a good substitute for cash if you don't have any! Who knew?
Right, try not to commit a felony that costs more than 4 dollars cause that's all I have in my bail jar.
Also, being stuck with my family all week has made it very clear that I need to be drunk and I need to be fucked pronto
And then you poured the rest of the vodka into salsa and added the alcohol soaked pineapples and grapes and said "don't touch my salsa breakfast".
Randomize
