Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm
You tried to pay the bartender in graduation checks, I think you'll be fine in the real world.
Replacing day drinking with a real job was the worst decision I've ever made.
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
Recently successful and happy relationships are at an all time high now that you are no longer fucking so many peoples girlfriends. You alone have changed the mating patterns in the lower half of our county.
You need to stop relating my life to your schoolwork. But tell my girlfriend that she'd be proud.
fun fact #6 about tuesday nights: giving head with two 40s taped to your hands is not as easy as you would think
You have plans tonight?
Stress crying into a bottle of long island ice tea mix...other than that nope
I know. It's cray. Crayon. Crayolaaaaa.
I'm pretty sure I did the Macarena with a gay guy while shot gunning a beer
Yeah. Well last night I sold my shoes to a man who I'm pretty sure has a weird foot fetish for $150 cash.
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
Started the 4th with a foursome. I don't know if it gets more festive than that. #MERICA
I still have to bake cookies and shave my legs so Mike can have MILF & cookies when he gets home.
May I make reservations with your penis for this evening?
We need to get walkie talkies for when we're drunk so if we are at different parties or lost we can talk
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