You went to the wrong car, tried to open the locked door, and started crying because you thought we were playing a mean trick. Then the owner came...
do not get into a discussion with my roommate when im sitting there naked ever again.
She bellyflopped onto the poolside bar, broke one wine bottle, and stole another...the resort staff just frowned and cleaned up her mess.
Oh my Christ. I just came so hard my penis stood back up and took a bow afterwards. I need Thai food.
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
I've just informed her that you've voted her Chief-Adult-In-Charge-Of-Shit and that she will take the oath of office on Fri Dec 14th at 8 pm with her hand on a bottle of Jager.
My head is pounding and I need an ice pack for my vag. Successful friendsgiving!
He held the beaver pelt from the fireplace over my crotch and asked his friend "she look familiar now?", he then remembered my name.
I found an inside smoking lounge. I'll be here for the next 4 hours. A nice old Canadian lady has befriended me and let me use her lighter. Fuck Hartsfield-Jackson AND this layover. I win.
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
NEW HOUSE RULE! If you make it in a chicks cleavage it's 3 cups and bra off.
BP at your house from now on.
My vagina has a mind if its own. Can you imagine if I didnt have you to run her ideas through.
so go get some goddamn bacon and lay in his bed naked. he'll love it.
Just bought plan b at 8am. Then the cashier asked if I wanted to donate to the children's miracle network. Fml
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