the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
Dude go to the top of pikes peak right now to catch Kevin Bacon's band performing
The bacon? Yeah right. What if there's Tremors?
Him and Burt have already taken care of that. It's a once in a lifetime chance to catch the Bacon brothers live in concert. I sort of have a boner
if i get an abortion, then will you go out with me?
Let's play a little game called "Chill the Fuck Out" - you're our first contestant
filled out health questionnaire for lower premiums a little bit too honestly. Literally got assigned a life coach.
You fell asleep mid BJ last night. I put your pants back on you. My ego is pretty bruised this morning.
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
just had an awkward elevator run in with that guy you puked on
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
I would ask what did you do but I feel like who did you do is probably more appropriate
No teenage boy ever gets scared away from sex unless she is slipping a wedding ring on your finger or is killing your cat. I promise.
If I don't have the money by then, I'll pay you in sex.
It's going to be 23.5 times of sex and 19 blow jobs. I just googled it.
One of the guys I danced with wanted to give me his number so I convinced him I had a photographic memory and that I would remember it.
There is a guy down by the river wearing a zebra print speedo and a sombrero, with a beer in each hand, screaming "This is America bitches!"
Randomize
