Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
Just made a coke joke and literally drooled on myself. How do we feel about pavlov's theory of conditioning now?
she acted like she'd never seen someone do speed off of a desk with a rolled up receipt. and she calls herself a grad student.
Im going to need an iv of taco bell after this.
my favorite part of the night was when I was in the bathroom frantically trying to get my cat whiskers and nose off to make hooking up less awkward
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
You were throwing ham at people telling them you were the sandwhich fairy
I'll have you know that I'm still picking duct tape residue off my wrist from sunday
Today's forecast: A sex tornado warning has been issued in your area. Counties affected include your bed, your shower, or your couch. This warning is in effect until further notice. Signs of a sex tornado include: your girlfriend coming up with a huge analogy to inform you that she's ungodly horny today.
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
It's the warm chocolate goeyness of a brownie combined with the heavenly taste of weed-smell... Why have I never done this before?
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
Oh yeah I meant to tell you the Tomb Raider looking girl so crop dusted me on the stairway
I'm keeping both. The way I see it, boyfriends come and go, but a good dick is forever.
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