yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
I woke up naked by my window. blinds open. smiley face drawn on my window.
i study at coffee shops because all these damn artsy people motivate me to work towards a real job.
people are starting to question the shark bite story
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
You sat on a wall pretending to be a gargoyle before shouting "batman!" and jumping at me
I'm the drunk Des Moines deserves, but not the one it needs
Someone just knocked jenga into a plate of cake. I'm licking off each piece one by one.
I was like kind of drunk but mostly just very enthusiastic about beyonce
I ordered more beers for everyone but had to finish them all. I promptly went outside and projectile vomited in the street. Three times.
This place is full of unfortunate mustaches.
I had one beer! ONE BEER! They took shots in mourning of my tolerance last night. My ability to drink is a joke.
Just spilled beer all over my bed. Should cut myself off, but instead I just took my shirt off and used it as a towel.
Shes yelled my World of Warcraft name when we were having sex, I think marriage is next.
Dude. I just got a visual of u climbing over a bathroom stall to save my life.
Slowly dying because of my period and my phone is mocking me because I have 69% battery
Randomize