bobby jindal makes me wanna cover my ears. you make me wanna smile.
dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
Just watched a guy fight a garbage can then pee on it, screaming "I told you to listen to me the first time!!" San Francisco, I've missed you.
Also, we just got yelled at by a cop for being awesome...or making out in a fountain. Whatever.
She gave me a handjob at the dinner table while her dad was carving the turkey. I made eye contact with him. Im pretty sure he knew.
It feels like I'm breathing out my heart and it spreads through my limbs to my fingertips.
I had to puke in a ditch beside a cow pasture and like 50 cows just stood there and watched. I could feel the judgment.
Soooo we should kick it sometime when it's like light outside. Drink outta cups.. Be bitches. 7, 6, 3, 5.. 4, 2, 1... Sschhkiddaellladiieessscchk
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
Are you texting, crying and driving?
And missing part of my eyebrow. Correct that is the description one would give of me at the moment.
I don't understand why you're so excited, it's my vagina not yours.
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
Hey, how are you?
No. You're dead to me, you hamster stealing slutbag.
How did I end up in some random dudes car?
Some guy came up to you and asked if you knew how to drive stick.
Randomize
