Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
My boss just told me $1,000 at a six hour event wouldn't be worth her time. She makes $70k a yr. and apparently never learned multiplication.
he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
So... I just got back from the chiropractor... And he said I have a slight neck injury from head banging too much. Fuck yes.
i called her out for picking her nose in public and he still wonders why i don't like her!
Your ability to be a slut in your nightmare astounds me
I tried. Now my legs are bleeding and I cracked my head on the coffee table. Never taking your advice again.
I totally just stopped for a booty call on the way to my parents for easter....good friday is an understatement
That night just went downhill after you pissed yourself while sitting on my lap
I had a drink called "the white nun." It tasted like Marshmallows, and celibacy.
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
The hot streak continues..if life was NBA jams i would be "on fire" right now
Remembering you have vodka in the freezer gives the same surge of happiness as finding 20 bucks in a coat pocket.
I'm pretty sure I smell like alcoholism and shame. And it's not a pretty scent.
Also I like oatmeal more than sex.
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