I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
official worst smell ever. a used condom that has gone through the dryer.
so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
I JUST MACED MY OWN FACE
This is by far the best text I have ever woken up to.
Remember when there was a happier time when people could all hang out together with out the awkwardness of the fact that she stole $1000 and cheated on a brother with another brother !?!??
We were in the middle of fucking and she was just like "Do ya wanna play Harry Potter Scene It?" I musta been really bad lol Anyways, her tattoo healed nicely.
I ran into him drunk, barefoot, at rite aid and he said I looked "stunning." Yeah, Stunningly shitfaced haha
I slept with my wedding DJ..... I think this means my life has come full circle
Just sold my panties for 40 bucks to some rando dude at the gay bar. I think I found a way to fund next years spring break trip. Hello cancun!
I sent her a dick pic and used brett Favre's dick pick. She asked me why I had pictures of old men's dicks saved on my phone... I just can't win bro
He picked me up in Smart Car with the license plate “MYWHIP.” I think my ovaries shriveled up and died.
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