You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
yesterday, he said he didn't trust me around his daughter because "if she was wrapped in rolling paper u'd smoke her." yup.
I'm drinkin whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
That's the point of day drinking, get fucked up by 6pm so you can get stuff done the next day. It's the adult thing to do.
FYI...Jose likes Shamrock shakes better than Jack
He just showed up on my porch naked with just a blanket and a trash bag
We should probably feel disgusted that we took turns eating and drunkenly passing around a burrito the size of a small dog but i’m ok with it.
I never thought in a million years that I would have a threesome with my boss and his wife and yet here we are.
This weekend I was almost blinded by a cumshot to the eye, so happy Labor Day I guess
What kind of true American would I be if I didn't just smoke weed in my bathrobe on my back porch in the middle of suburbia on 4/20? #stepmomoftheyear
Apparently I'm some kind of sexual camel.
My boss asked me what was wrong today and I really wanted to tell her I woke up too late to smoke a bowl before coming in
Let me guess you did your hair instead? Has anyone told you about priorities?
fucked one of the teachers, librarian job's going great
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