I just got stood up by an 18 yr old. fmylife.
ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
?
Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
I can't breathe out the right side of my face
Im so ripped right now that i just filled the almost empty bottle of choc syrup with milk and drank it straight out of the bottle. It was on pointttttt.
how in the hell can u get pulled over when ur car is parked.
In the middle of switching positions, we shared a line of coke. It's was like a modern-day 'Lady and the Tramp.'
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
I accidentally walked in the wrong house but I somehow left with a chicken leg. Good fucking night.
When she asked why I felt bad I said that it may have had something to do with the gin and cold pizza I had for breakfast.... And then I reflected on what my life has become.
You fell out of the chair and then lifted your foot saying, "If my foot could give you the middle finger it would."
At Walgreens. I'm getting condoms and a bottle of water so that I'm not "just getting condoms". I don't think I'm fooling anyone though.
I've never had sex with me but I assume there are worse ways to be woken up.
I woke up next to a box of cheese bread it was super romantic
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
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