So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
Nick just found a baggie of 3 year old shrooms in his desk drawer and downed it all with cheap white wine. I am not on vomit duty tonight.
Sometimes i wish my penis was detachable that way i could take it off sometimes so i wouldnt get into these situations
This guy at the party just introduced himself to me as "the guy who sat behind you on a plane last year"
Please don't die.. At a gay bar... On a Wednesday. Obituaries are not allowed to be that entertaining.
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
She makes walking on a treadmill look like a porno. I wish I could send over shots as an ice breaker.
That's effing brilliant. We should start a business.
I don't care if he was in that porno. He looked like he knew what he was doing.
Oh god. Just tried to hail a pizza delivery car. Awkward.
International sake day = success
Well shove his head down there and tell him not to stop til we have a new president!
Literally, and I mean LITERALLY as in "not to be confused with a casual hyperbole", LITERALLY the day we broke up she slept with 3 different guys that night.
1) It's nice to see that the whole "English Major" thing is upping the quality of your rants 2) Have you considered that your dick was the cork holding her sluttiness in?
I got myself off in the shower last night for the first time ever! I just looked like I was playing a game of twister.
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
Add tweezing eyebrows to the list of things not to do while on adderol....
Randomize
