How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
we found him in the shower with a bottle of jose saying "this is Mexico's fault"
We just leapfrogged all the way to the bar.
by 11 am we'd already been drunk twice. how much lower can you go?
the girl peeing in the stall next to mine has really cute shoes. on a scale of 1 to restraining order, how weird would it be to compliment them from in here?
Oh just chilling alone with a stranger baby while everyone else clambakes the bathroom. Probation is the reason there is bad things in the world.
It's a toss up. They'll either laugh and watch you drunkenly fuck on the beach or they'll throw you deep in Mexican jail.
I want to be the sort of person he can respect in the morning once the drugs wear off.
i think the last part kind of negates the first part there
Never thought going to McDonald's alone at 3 AM would end with a blowjob outside some random girl's apartment...
I'll be the Broncos and you be the Seahawks and you can pound the shit out of me.
Its okay I found my bra. ...it was on your cat. I wont ask questions.
I don't have a cat..?
I told him he looked like my uncle.
Why would you say that in a bathtub?
I don't want them thinking I'm like, "Mm, yeah, kitchenware in my ass please."
Ever get that feeling that you're the back up booty call and half way through securing the fake date excuse to try to get in your pants, the guy hears back from the original booty call and drops the conversation with no explanation?
Randomize
