I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
You went to the wrong car, tried to open the locked door, and started crying because you thought we were playing a mean trick. Then the owner came...
Why are all the lights on in my house? Every single one. Someone should turn them off but I'm the only one here and I'm sure as hell not doin it.
she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
NO YOU'RE NOT. I don't want to hear that SHIT. Jameson appreciation day part 1 is saturday and YOU WILL BE READY.
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
Dude, I fucked her last night with nothing but my bandana on. Like straight Indian chief style.
A surprise thumb up the ass and I'm wide awake. She was right, no need for caffine pills I could fight ninjas now.
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
Dude. I've been high for so many hours now that I'm just accepting this as my new reality.
Three of my exes and one of my exes' brothers have hit me up and it's only been a week. I hate semester break.
Woke up on a lawn chair hugging a bottle of vodka. Hows your morning so far?
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