ready 4 sex 2nite?
wow. woo me matt, woo me.
so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
god please explain to me why there's blood underneath my fingernails AND toenails?!?!
Dude To be completely honest I don't think you want me to.
opening your purse in class to grab a pen only to find dollar bills and pink fuzzy handcuffs instead...that's a cool feeling
my phone cant type all the emotion im having
I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
He jacked off on my pillow when he found out I left. It was like coming home and finding that your dog, with separation anxiety, had pooped in your shoes. I think I'm flattered...
I know I said I wouldn't, but he told me I looked like Mila Kunis. Reasons not to fuck him, go.
I wish you would stop telling everyone that your cock turned me into a Bears fan.
He burnt his arm on the grill, then turned around and started blaming it on the burger buns...I think it's safe to say he's drunk.
There's mini weenies and empanadas everywhere...
We have moved from phase 1: honeymoon, to phase 2: trapped in relationship until the cold embrace of death
I'll keep supplying drugs if you teach me piano.
Could be all of this cough syrup, but I’m ready to fuck 2018 up!
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