He has that cheese in a can and he's eating it. I have never seen that outside a goofy movie.
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
Remember that foreign guy who never talked last night? He just came out of my bathroom when I woke up.
the two person party stopped when i realized that he tried to throw a hammer at my head.
I'm gonna do some tripping... In the direction of balls
A guy wearing a shirt that says "eat shit and die motherfucker" just held open a door for me. He's got manners.
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
Why would I take you home? That would eliminate the chances of you making bad decisions I could ridicule you about later.
Oh my lord it is too early in the morning to be that horny freak
my vagina doesn't wear a watch
Also I am throwing a blaZer over what I wore to bed and calling it an outfit.
Waiting on the notification from my fitness pal that tells me I'm an alcoholic
On the flip side, we did almost have sex wearing a gorilla mask and deer antlers.............
Oh yeah, it was definitely the best sex of my life, I just don't think I can fix the kitchen table before my parents get back...
i knew it was a party when i saw you sitting on the couch naked with the keg in your lap, still drinking and passing out cups
Woke up this morning with a plate of ravioli in my bed. Who says being single can't be fun?
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