the biggest problem in our relationship is that im team edward and my boyfriend is team jacob
woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
I want to fuck you on the side of the bed tonight.
babe, don't say it like that!
I'm sorry, I want to penetrate you on the edge of our sleeping quarters this evening.
we saw a llama on the side of the road. That's when we knew everything was going to be alright.
i just overheard someone saying that they invented the 'tequila mockingbird' last night. sorry, but i found better friends
This guy just showed us his webbed feet to prove that his son was actually his son
Russian roulette. Between salvia and weed. You in?
FUCK YOU MAN
I need a straight guy to pretend to be my boyfriend for 30 minutes so that I can pull off an act of petty vengeance. Interested?
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
She said she forgot something.. and when she came out she was carrying a garden gnome, and a bottle of vodka. she was too hot to question it.
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
I'm questioning my decision to swallow this morning while my stomach was in hangover mode
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
She invited us over for cocaine and donuts
Please don't give away my fajitas
Randomize
