when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
I miss seeing your mom and dad at church, well mostly just your mom... She used to hug my face into her boobs.
i just entered cocaine into my calorie counter.
My dick just stopped my iPhone from falling into the toilet.
Like if god were to send me a cock shot, that's what it would look like.
Okay the common myth about putting tampons in you nostrils for a nose bleed is busted. It just starts coming out through your throat.
I wish a box of wine came w a hose. It'd be so much easier to drink from.
I've got beer and a bag of saltwater taffy and croutons, is that enough for this typhoon thing?
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
He left his boxers here. Can I keep them and make a shrine or would that be creepy?
Dude they're making a condom for people who have no feeling in their penises that will make them able to have an orgasm. I love science
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
I think I just did my first walk of shame. He sent me home with a watermelon from his farm. Southern one night stands.
At one point I believe I was despencing medical advice while wearing a sombrero and a hulk hand
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