Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
I found my laptop, credit card, and a bottle of Morgan all on the counter this morning. I'm scared to see what gets delivered to my house this week.
I'm bringing in a picture of a stranger on facebook to get my haircut. I have reached a new level of creepy.
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
How did your new apartment party go last night?
I'm really happy i have a bigger bathroom to puke in.
Is it bad that I had sex with another guy on my boyfriend's bed while he's out of town?
Just flip the mattress, it erases all
Done and done
that's not even the weird part though. he already knew where the bathroom was, he might have been here before..
I wore sweatpants. When I show up to a booty call in sweatpants there's your warning
I would ask what did you do but I feel like who did you do is probably more appropriate
Thank god crabs can't live on your head. Thank god.
drinking vodka, listening 2 smh at 530am slow cooking beef stew. you'll enjoy the stew and worry abt me in the morning. bon apatite
when I die covered in cocaine, hookers, and tequila at 73 years old just remember that I once had a tweet with that many retweets
I was thirsty after the sex and it was a long trek back to res so naturally I stole chocolate milk from his fridge as I left
holy shit the woman im hooking up with is closer to my moms age than my own
Randomize
