ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
I've decided that life's journeys are more fun when your moral compass hangs in front of you and swings with each step
grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
you walked into the kitchen holding the skyy bottle and asked us "how do i warm this?"
The kid that passed out is still in the bathtub filled with ice and the empties
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
We tried to make ramen in a glass bowl on the stove. They called facilities to pick the glass out of the door
I kind of want to throw a lot of things at him. Mostly blunt, heavy objects.
WTF DUDE?
Stay calm. I'm sure there's a heterosexual explanation for this
The funny part was that the cop pulled us over cause the park was closed, not because I had just come up from giving the guy a blowjob when the cop drove by.
But I got head on a boat yesterday which was sweet until a bald eagle flew over. Then it became life affirming.
Gotta wait until my full time offer is confirmed before I try to fuck the mid level manager
Randomize
