Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
So I'm at the Chevron by your house. I need a condom and a couch.
Together?
Preferably.
I'm 99% sure that for 3 hours I thought you were British. We must smoke that again.
i cant cry in cvs. not again.
Can you explain to me the broken disco ball in my front yard?
do you remember in the middle of fleeing from the cops you stopped in the middle of the road to make out with quail man?
We found you wrapped up in a tarp in the garage the next morning, thats how real shit got.
My dad just asked if I could bring snacks to jail this weekend. Like what does he think this is, some type of adult play date?
I may watch porn and eat a baked potato covered in chili in bed
Well, let's just say, I got that eye patch like we were joking about
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
I'm going to talk him into letting me tie him up, and then just leave him that way and go meet you for fro-yo.
You thought the flashing lights were strobe lights when they were loading you into the ambulance. You asked the EMT if he had any X.
He corrected my spelling during sexting.
The reason why I poison my organs is so that you guys can't sell them.
Randomize