HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
A female Wisconsin fan just headbutted the bouncer. Im deeply terrified and oddly aroused at the same time.
Note to self: when drunk try to remember that ctrl, alt and dance doesnt exist on a keyboard.
I can only imagine the horrible things my future wife is doing on spring break right now.
I left my toothbrush at her house. This is getting way too serious for me.
Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
Need toilet paper. Napkins suck. Slowly running out of those two and the bleeding hasn't stopped. Your cat is next
There's a picture of you on facebook laying in the street with 3 cops standing over you after you faceplanted off that guy's shoulders.
Is that what happened to my face?!
Just wanted to say a big ole FUCK YOU for coming out to mom the day before I have to drive with her for 6 hours. Ass hat.
I also made him write a nonfiction romance novel about what happened and to give it to me when the time was right
I am too high to deal with coming home to 11 naked people in my living room
I was so high I started singing Let It Go and then instantly started laughing 'cause I was eating ice. Everyone just stared.
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
Never has jello made me angry to the point of drinking. But here I am.
Randomize
