Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
We were laughing at the passed out guy who had gone to sleep under the car in the McDonald's lot until we realized it was you.
Her birthday cake consisted of a shot of tequila with a candle in it
my tonsil wound opened up during the kegstand but i stopped it with a popsicle
How the fuck did you end up in a tree? With multiple people?
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
The maintenance guy says happy birthday. Also, he likes your penis balloon.
That's some primal shit right there. My vagina is all like CONSUME HIM AND HIS FRUIT HE WILL GIVE YOU SONS!
I don't want a baby! I JUST WANT AN ORGASM THAT ISN'T SELF INFLICTED.
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
Omg in one week, two guys with their own names tattooed on their bodies had their tongues in my mouth. Self loathing shall commence now.
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
there's a bowling ball in the dishwasher and a dog bone in the freezer
Randomize
