he got his own cum in his own eye. TWICE. how do you make that mistake again?
Neighbors just bought a new bong. Got high with them and we decided to name it "Gary colemans sweet sugarlumps" these guys are hilarious
Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
some people wear their heart on their sleeve but you just wear your vagina on your face.
That's like lying to my vagina. I can't betray it like that.
I knew we would be good together when you made me lick jameson off your boob while you screamed along with racks on racks
I was tackling you out of excitement
Yeah thank goodness the stripper pole was there to break my fall.
I always thought The Big Bang Theory wasa terrible show but that was before it came with blowjobs and pizza.
During sex his mom asks from the other side of the door, "Do you like avocados?" Who doesn't like avocados?
i feel like i am made of mashed potatoes. i love cannabis pills so. fucking. much.
Did you survive the Atlanta roadway snowpocalypse?
All the bars are closed. Might as well be dead.
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
The name of the man in your bed is not Ryan. I can't remember what his name is but that is wrong
Costco (TM). Making alcoholism affordable!
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
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