Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
I woke up this morning next to some guy. I was horrified, he woke up and said, "the white tiger strikes again!"
she asked me if I wanted a handjob on the haunted mansion ride at Disney. was I suposed to say no?
She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
she kept her crown on the whole time i was giving her birthday sex
Apparently someone switched my cash for monopoly money after midnight so I couldn't get any more drinks at the bar
We left an ass print on the piano.
You don't have to believe me. My vagina knows it happened.
Malt liquor mondays...better in theory.
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
I'm wearing green eyeshadow so even if I end up totally naked I still won't get pinched.
Actually, I may scrap this entire plan. I just realized that I had sex with a guy with his own whiskey commercial.
I let him stay at my place since i had to work early and when i got home there was a fruit snack wrapper in my bed. I dont have any fruit snacks. Which means he brought his own fruit snacks to the fuck session.
Let's go buy marshmallows and play chubby bunny until we feel alive again
Today will be the day I throw up in my backpack in the middle of class
Randomize
