This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
You kept running into the wall most of the night. When people asked you what you were doing you told them you were the kool-aid man and there was little kids on the other side of the wall who needed your juice
my roomates packed me a lunch. it had bread, cheesewiz, a can of refried beans and a condom with a note that said "good luck on your first day". im not even gonna pretend to be mad.
Its like after 6 beers, the clap doesn't scare me anymore.
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
We need to pull ourselves out of this slump. We need dick and lots of it. We are going to fuck our way to happiness.
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
I'm sitting in my room naked waiting for him. When he gets here im going to make him do 20 pushups and lick my clit for a hour
My code for I need help will be if I'm holding a bud light lime..
Yep if he's taking selfies he's probably on drugs again.
Signs of a stoner: trying everything in your fridge topped with peanut butter to seek satisfaction.
No, I barely made it home last nite. Kept telling cab driver I live across the street from Susan Sarandon?? Thank god her coop addy is posted online.
Ugh. My life is a never ending cycle of bad decisions and taquitos.
Question: anytime during the past week did I drunk dial you and give you full permission to grab my boobs? Cus I know I said it I just don't remember who I said it to...
Randomize
