My friends, they love my intelligence
i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
Ate apple sauce off his penis. Nutritious and slutty.
Thanks in advance for a great weekend. Sorry your roommates are going to hate you after I leave. They need to loosen up anyways.
I have just disproved the common belief that it is impossible to have mediocre sex in a fire truck.
The fire in my vagina flames on. Fucking terrible firefighter
shes on the ground doing bicycle kicks screaming "is my ass good enough for you now satan" send help
I think we've entered a low point in our relationship when I'm sending you pictures of pubic hair designs "because they're funny"
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
Remember when you walked in on me sleeping INSIDE a pillowcase?
No he reached for my hand at the beach. I pretended to be a seagull.
I walked in on a circlejerk after punching that guy out. Instant karma.
I sent him home with blood on his fingers and shame in his heart.
I almost wrecked my car because of a guy in skinny jeans had a boner
I couldn't be more proud to be a cougar. Just wondering how these twenty somethings learned how to fuck so well? Must be porn.
Randomize
