For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
today he pulled me aside to show me a lawn mower that he drew above his pubes. I saw his pubes in all their glory. Right there. In spanish class. Hola.
i feel this outfit says i'm better than you, but i might give you a handjob behind a building
We've done the math and the dogs tails are wagging at a rate of 3000 wags per hour. Stoned.
More importantly, he hasn't caught an STD yet. I mean I'd say it's luck, but at this point it has to be skill.
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
I've decided I'm either going to ease him into this breakup by having a threesome with him and the girl I'm leaving him for, or be brutal and fuck his room mate. it depends how nice he is tonight.
Just went through the drive thru and got 18 free donuts in exchange for half a joint. Dunkin Donuts at midnight might become a nightly thing for us.
Moment of the day: as we leave the restaurant, she reaches into my pocket, pulls out her panties, and angrily marches to her car. I felt like a sketchy magician.
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
Is there a special protocol when the stripper has a Boba Fett tattoo?
In hindsight combining orgy Thursday with mystery drink madness was begging for failure
Breaking into his house to steal the sheets I'd drunk pissed on before he got home was not how I wanted to be spending spring break
My little sister just helped me edit my nudes so that's how my night is going
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