You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
I drank like a thousand beers last night and my poo is solid, not gross like usual. I think this means I've grown up.
I'm either going to be a Playboy Playmate or take over the world. Either way the world wins.
Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
you ever fart during an orgasm? feels like u just lost 10 pounds
the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
the level of his annoyance + every insult he makes = the closer I am to telling him im fucking his ex
I feel like my whole life has been one big pre-game for Mexico.
i did the responsible thing and pissed myself...
I ate goldfish off your shoulder, I think we had bigger issues
No he exists. Who else tells me no matter how drunk I am to pull out. He's watching over me so my bastard doesn't get created.
fuck it. from now on whatever room i wake up in, i'm stealing clothes from. this walk of shame shit is too much without pants
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
I also tried to hide a bottle of vodka in a build a bear last night so that something that happened in my life
I'm pretty sure the cop knew you were drunk when you tried to light your cigg with a chapstick.
Randomize
