yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
you threw up in the bushes next to the ABC store and kept saying "you're home, blueberry vodka, you're home!"
Is it physically possible to shit out my own bone marrow? Because if not, then I need to see a doctor immediately.
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
Dont forget the glove box taco bell stash i saved for drunk us.
You force fed me chocolate chips and avocados for 3 hours and kept asking me about my trip to sweden when I was 4.
Bad news. I baked you a cake and one of my fingernails is missing.
I guess I realized I had a problem when I ordered 4 shots and told the bar wench to pour them all into 1 glass
I'm an approx 70% certain someone switched my UV Blue for Windex - just as volatile as you might think.
I'll miss you, too. On the bright side, a night away from one another might give me a chance to recup seminal fluids.
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
He doesn't like Sabbath and that alone is a GIANT red flag. Learn from my experiences and never, I mean NEVER associate with people that hate Black Sabbath and Motörhead.
We ran out of vodka, so instead of body shots you wanted to do cupcake shots off her naked body...happy birthday to you.
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