Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
I'll hook up with guys I don't even like, as long as they leave early enough the next day.
Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
I couldn't walk, so he carried me all the way home; and then I told him that I wasn't drunk enough to fuck him. Poor kid.
Dude. The walls are totally staring at me right now. I told you this was a bad idea.
Pretty sure I just heard the turkey yell "don't put me in there" as it was going in the oven. way too high for this holiday.
Pretty sure the purpose of joining wine clubs isn't to drink the 2 bottles they send you each month IN THE SAME NIGHT.
you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
Hah no, But it might feel like water boarding to my soul
He also turned out to be underage (the fucking liar) so we had to get drunk on cooking sherry
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
No feeling is better than coming home from your booty call and putting on a fresh pair of granny panties
This is not a test of the emergency warning system. He has broken my vagina. I repeat he has broken my vagina. Damn it was good.
I kicked down a wall in rage and found a door behind the drywall. Once again vandalism solves all my problems.
Come cuddle! I'll be passed out somewhere in the library. It'll be like a scavenger hunt!
Randomize
