I created a new tequila drink. it is a mix of excitement and fear instilled in innocent people.
Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
i feel like verizon should give a sexter of the month award
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
Let's go get our ovaries removed together. It'll be like bonding by getting mani/pedis, but with more vicodin and less unwanted pregnancies.
ive penciled you in for a day of excessive drinking
You carried me up the stairs after I told you not to. And what did you tell me? "Let me test my strengths."
I just farted a soft, gentle fart and it made me think of the eye puff glaucoma test at the eye dr. I hope that's not fart air they use for those. And yes, I'm texting you from the toilet and yes again, I'm high.
I snorted a few ambien and woke up here. A lady banged on our door, waking us up, demanding our towels.
One failed naked backward somersault off the bed and I realize - I either need to drink less or workout more. Perhaps both.
Funny how the post-sex UTI lasted longer than the entire relationship.
he kissed both of us goodnight when we dropped him off...I didn't know if I was more offended or impressed
I'm pretty sure that cute cop drove me home. Especially since I found his card in my purse.
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
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