I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
how the fuck am i supposed to make breakfast with spaghettios and mustard
bitch so ugly she owes me an erection
He's only going to be gone for two weeks
That's two months in gay whore years.
He equated my biology degree to a belief in Santa. I wonder if he heard the doors to my vagina clanging shut.
He actually has his life put together though, during the date we walked by a shoppers drugmart where my friend and I once flashed a janitor and all I could wonder was how does he not see shit show written all over me?
Wrapped in a blanket, just ate a whole party pizza. All my dreams are coming true and you don't even care.
Did I run into a tree or get punched in the face?
Both.
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
like are we talking 'quick beer' bad or 'break out the real vodka' bad
i now understand why vodka
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.
He sent me off with a naked dance ending in a meat swing. I don't think I'll be seeing him again.
Welp, no use in crying over spilt milk. I can't unbang her.
Invitations to sext will not be acknowledged until 10 a.m. EST. Thank you for your cooperation. We apologize for any inconvenience.
Randomize
