He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
So I cleaned the toilet last night at 2 am and woke up with pink eye. Never doing that again.
Hey man your outta milk
How the hell do you keep getting in my apartment?!
No, i know about the eggs and penis, the oh wow was for the fire
She wore that goddamn strap-on all night. When she was playing guitar hero it kept getting in the way but she just wouldn't take it off.
Is it just me or did a policeman park your car last night?
THAT WAS PROBABLY MY ONE CHANCE TO SLEEP WITH A MAN NAMED BORIS AND YOU RUINED IT.
Apple trackpads and semen don't mix. On the way to the Apple Store.
I will come over now to take full advantage of you in your vulnerable state.
Fine. I should warn you I just threw up in danas fish tank. Fish are dead. Livers dead. I smell and look like a dead animal. And not showering. So deal with it.
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there
Why can't burritos get me drunk
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
Fuck man, I am really high rn and all I've eaten is different forms of pie
Randomize
