Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
I wish I had a frozen water bed.
best. idea. ever.
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
my fraternity brothers just had an intervention for me. i either have a problem or am just on some next-level shit, im gonna go with door number 2
Youre at medical school. Im eating raw cookie dough, pickles, and orange juice. Naked. On a monday afternoon. I clearly make better life choices than you.
I had my first sober conversation with his roommate. I remembered half way through that the first time we met I was getting fucked on his counter
There was a sweat stain in the shape of a fast chick with low standard on your bathroom floor
I felt like a responsible adult. A responsible adult that may or may not end up shitfaced. But not heaving purple puke into a urinal like last time because I'm classy now.
Testing the emergency boobs hotline
I've never had to kick an employee out of bed to go to work before.
I'm going to make you a sign to put on your penis to ward others off
Started mixing booze directly into the 2 liters and carrying them around. Mixing less often, and now kind of weightlifting,so double effecient.
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
i think if a sober person was watching us they would have not thought we were witty
Randomize