Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
She's making her own pesto again. Cooking spaghetti in the microwave and "frying" vegetables in the toaster oven. All this while wearing the yellow rubber gloves and saying that the pesto has feelings like a real person. Im terrified.
I was just counting ceiling tiles when he ate me out, it was that bad.
He rode my dog to the bathroom and wouldn't stop laughing once he got in. It was scary.
You may see me wearing your shirt to class. It's because I still have the spins and I'm anticipating throwing up on it. Asshole.
College is a time for personal growth. Meaning it's time to start using those pickup lines on randos at dive bars.
Being at this stripclub only reinforces how single I am. And I was *just* becoming okay with that.
Well I guess I'll go shower now and wash all the stripper off.
I thought my broken hand would put a damper on Halloween, but fake costume eyelashes and hydrocodone are kinda fun at the same time.
I knew my bag made it because I could smell the fireball that spilled inside of my suitcase before it was on the luggage carousel.
I don't know why I do this to myself his dick is a constant source of disappointment.
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
You know it's a good night when the word slut is imprinted on your ass and your hands smell like lube.
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
Randomize
