Apparently mediocre decisions were made last night. I woke up alone in my own bed with my fridge defrosted.
And I didn't go to bed alone. I am buckets of fail.
We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
I just saw a hobo ride by on a unicycle. Good day.
Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
Just beat my spinning in office chair record. Almost puked. Totally worth it.
I feel compelled to tell you that I woke up this morning and found an entire corn on the cob in my purse. Ive decided not to question my drunken behavior anymore, and to just accept it as my lifestyle.
Just because you were able to pour the entire bottle of wine into 2 glasses does not mean you took it easy last night.
She's a squirter....that makes up for lots of other annoying things
VODKAVODKAVODKAYESSSS
You know what my problem is? I'm like a machine designed for the sole intention of removing the pants from damaged girls.
Who knew drunk me could climb a 17 story building for apple juice and sex
Then she said I give the best mouth hugs and bar went silent.
It's always a good night until the penis tattoo makes an appearance
My roommate walked in naked grabbed my hand and pulled me into her room to see her randoms dick.
my goal is to never have a bac of 0.0 the whole time while in the state of florida, which means i have to chug a beer before i cross the state line
Randomize
